Einstein observed that, "We cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it". This is where talking with an objective, non judgemental professional can help shed new light and offer new prospectives on difficult problems.
Counselling offers a calm space to talk about issues which may be difficult or impossible to talk about with family or even trusted friends. We often believe our problems are unique to us alone, which further compounds our feelings of isolation. Sharing our worries and fears with an objective listener helps us see how universal our problems truly are.
Most people are raised in less than perfect families, and so learn behaviours necessary to adapt to their family. For example, little girls may get the message that anger is unacceptable and so learn never to express it. While this may have felt like the only option in childhood, the inibility to express anger as an adult may create serious issues. Understanding why these behaviours came into being can lead to healthier choices in the future, give renewed appreciation for past resilience and help develop self compassion.
This issue of self compassion is essential to accepting aspects we do not like about ourselves, as "what we resist, persists". It is essential to appreciate the choices made in different circumstances, however self destructive, in order to focus on making healthy ones now. If being punitive with ourselves were the way to bring about change, these changes would have occurred long ago.
In addition to understanding how our early life effected us, it is important to appreciate the effect our biology continues to have on many aspects of our lives. For example, early humans survived by developing a powerful ability to spot potential danger in the environment. (The fact that we are alive now is testament to how successfully they actually were.) The down side however, is that our brains are conditioned to look for, and remember, potential threats. This may help us understand why we often seem so negative, and can also encourage us to actively seek out and focus on what is positive in order to redress this biological imbalance.
The above are but some of the many aspects of counselling which can help with understanding, appreciating and bringing about the changes we wish to make in our lives.
Counselling offers a calm space to talk about issues which may be difficult or impossible to talk about with family or even trusted friends. We often believe our problems are unique to us alone, which further compounds our feelings of isolation. Sharing our worries and fears with an objective listener helps us see how universal our problems truly are.
Most people are raised in less than perfect families, and so learn behaviours necessary to adapt to their family. For example, little girls may get the message that anger is unacceptable and so learn never to express it. While this may have felt like the only option in childhood, the inibility to express anger as an adult may create serious issues. Understanding why these behaviours came into being can lead to healthier choices in the future, give renewed appreciation for past resilience and help develop self compassion.
This issue of self compassion is essential to accepting aspects we do not like about ourselves, as "what we resist, persists". It is essential to appreciate the choices made in different circumstances, however self destructive, in order to focus on making healthy ones now. If being punitive with ourselves were the way to bring about change, these changes would have occurred long ago.
In addition to understanding how our early life effected us, it is important to appreciate the effect our biology continues to have on many aspects of our lives. For example, early humans survived by developing a powerful ability to spot potential danger in the environment. (The fact that we are alive now is testament to how successfully they actually were.) The down side however, is that our brains are conditioned to look for, and remember, potential threats. This may help us understand why we often seem so negative, and can also encourage us to actively seek out and focus on what is positive in order to redress this biological imbalance.
The above are but some of the many aspects of counselling which can help with understanding, appreciating and bringing about the changes we wish to make in our lives.